Your Most Embarrassing Moment?
I was on crutches, a freshman in college, going home through the Chattanooga airport. Standing in the front of the line atop two flights of stairs, I took my first step. My no slip crutch pad and the no slip step locked in battle. It was like falling over with your hands in your pocket. I could see the crash coming but I couldn’t do anything about it. Yes. I was the loser tumbling to the bottom of the stairs.
After landing, I flexed my muscles to see if anything was broken…no pain. Relieved, I looked up just in time to catch a glimpse of one of my crutches coming at my end over end, crashing into my noggin’. Dang! After that, I had to fly with the entire audience to my crash…don’t know what was worse. 
Care to sit down in the therapist’s chair and share yours?
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Seems like I shared this here before. Mine is food related. I tripped while carrying some enchiladas at a friend’s house and through them into their curtains.
I was between my sophomore and junior years in college, and was home for the summer. We lived in midtown Manhattan then. A friend from college worked at a resort on the Jersey Shore and I took a bus down for a weekend. On Sunday morning, when I was getting up to pack and head off for the bus back home, I got violently ill. Violently. But I had to get a bus back home. And it would be OK, since they have bathrooms on the buses…
The bus had broken down and they replaced the long-haul bus with a LOCAL bus = no bathroom.
Over the next 5 hours, I had to run off the bus every time it stopped for passengers to load. I’d go unload and then get back on the bus.
In the last 60 minutes, there were no stops. I had the driver pull over on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike and I ran off and puked in front of a packed bus in the middle of a freeway jammed bumper to bumper with people coming home from the weekend at “the shore.” Once safely in the confines of Penn Station, I promptly hurled again into a garbage can in the great central room of the station–thousands of folks there too see it all. I somehow managed to control the other end of the digestive tract through some kind of sheer will power.
I’m guessing that somewhere between 2000 and 3000 people saw me puking at some point that day.
It was my early days in Christian comedy. It was my first really big show opening for a top Christian act at a university I had previously attended. Family, friends and people I knew from my college days were there…along with 5,000 other people. The house lights dimmed…the stage lights went up…the emcee introduced me…I grabbed the microphone…walked out to thunderous applause…was blinded by the spotlights…walked right off the front of the stage into the orchestra pit. The orchestra pit was too deep for me to climb back on stage…no stairs leading out…the only door was locked. The janitor had to come open the door so I could get back on stage and complete my set. It was a real “Spinal Tap” moment…not to mention a total humiliation!!!
You guys owe me for therapy
It was the third time that I had ever preached at a church and it was well over 17 years ago. My wife and I were invited to preach in the Mountains at a country church and I mean country church. Keep in mind I was young and didn’t know how to open so I thought i would try to get a laugh from the members. Please understand that they were holy, holy, holy people. They had no make-up and hair that could touch the roof. Anyway, I had this little saying that I would always say to my young bride as a joke so I thought I would use it to open with while I had her stand up.
I said, “Amy would you stand up and say hi to the body?” As she stood up I said, “Amy is my main squeeze! I have lots of other squeezes but Amy is my main one.” Silence!!!! Anger!!!
Needless to say, they hated me and heard nothing I said. I was never invited back.
By the way, I never said that again.
So in tumbling down the stairs, you didnt hurt yourself???—from a mental standpoint, i would tend to differ…
Wayyyyy too many moments, so little comment space…
when I was in the second grade, I wore a dress backwards to school. I would never wear that dress again.
I’ve had so many embarrassing m oments…which ones would you like me to share here…in front of the entire CYBER world?
I don’t know that this would technically be in front of the entire cyber world….just a small slice here. But, share away. Its cheaper than $200 per hour.
My wife and I once visited a church and there was something that made my nose keep running and I held a sneeze until the dismiss of church. As we were walking out several people came up to say hello and then I turned my head and sneezed. It was really bad now because I didn’t have a tissue and I didn’t know it was going to be so …wet. So here I am trying to make a good first impression with a hand full of …wet. An older guy comes up and extends his hand to shake and I wouldn’t shake and my wife poked me and I blurted out, “Sweetheart I have half of my brains in my hand from that sneeze! I don’t think he really wants to shake with me at the moment!!” Everyone busted out laughing and we all ended up being good friends! They still use that against me in public too!
Geo,
That’s sick…really. That’s sick