Q&A from Got Funk – week 2 (loneliness)

The following questions were some questions I was unable to get to on Sunday.  They all represent excellent, heartfelt questions.  One is deeply personal.  I’m very appreciative for the great thoughts and questions.

QUESTION: How do you know when you found your partner ? How do you know it’s a gospel partnership?

RESPONSE: When you set out to find a marriage covenant partner, you need to have your mind made up about what you are looking for in a person.  If you have not established in your heart that you want the person your marry to love Jesus more than they love you, you will settle for someone who will love Jesus because of you.

That may describe where you currently are in your marriage.  God can certainly work in us, refining us, and conforming us to His character, and repairing or ministering to our marriages.  But, if you have not
yet entered into a Gospel Partnership in marriage, you should consider that Paul gives clear instruction in 2 Corinthians 6:14 not be partners with unbelievers.

To answer your final question, you know that you are in a Gospel Partnership when Jesus is the number one priority between you both, when Jesus is the filter that your decisions pass through, and when you both choose to honor Jesus before one another.

QUESTION: If we are born in sin, then why when a infant passes, he or she goes straight to heaven?

RESPONSE: King David said, “For I was born a sinner – yes, from the moment my mother conceived me” (Psalm 51:5).  Paul says in, Romans 3:23 says For all have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious standard.”  Considering those verses, it is obvious we are absolutely and utterly borken and separated from God.

The fact that infants die demonstrates that all are impacted by sin.  Romans 6:23 points out that the result of sin is death. However, 1 John 2:2 says that Jesus came to take away the sins of the entire world.  Because of the just nature of God I am left to believe that the grace of Jesus is applied to the lives of people who are not at the age where they can comprehend what it means to choose Jesus as their God and to follow Him.

We see this idea in the story of David and Bathsheeba (2 Samuel 12:21-23).  David mourned because his child was going to die.  When his child died, he quit mourning and responded that while his child could not come back to him, he could go to his child.

There is nothing in the Bible that is conclusive that says there is an “Age of Accountability” where children suddenly become responsible for their sin.  But, there is an inference in the Scriptures that this is the case.

QUESTION: Why cant I fill the void of a spouse passed on with friends or other people? The loneliness always returns. It hurts all the time.

RESPONSE: First, I want to say that my heart hurts for you and that my answer cannot possibly do justice to your question.  I’ve never experienced the kind of loss that you have.  But, I can stop and be sad with you and pray, which I am doing now and invite others to join me.

You loved your husband.  The nature of love is that it is a high-risk, high-reward proposition.  The good times are really good.  The bad times are really bad.  Separation from someone you love deeply is painful.  There is simply no way around that pain.  I would recommend that you not try to replicate or replace that void.  Rather, you should recognize that the sense of loss exists because someone significant was in your life.

You can choose not to cover it up.  You can choose to leverage your loss as an opportunity for the goodness of God to go forward.  Allow people to see the grace of Jesus in your life as you experience pain from loss.  One of the most hope-filled lives is a life that can experience deep pain and still love Jesus. David said it best in Psalm 139:1-18.  No matter where you are, what you go through, what hell you find yourself in, God is there in the middle of you gladness or in the middle of your sorrow.

You’re definitely in my prayers.  I’m sorry you’re facing that.  Don’t do it alone.